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There is no substitute for experience. In order to truly learn about another culture one must immerse him/herself in the culture and experience the traditions, norms and lifestyle firsthand. However, after learning about the cultural norms and traditions related to dating and sex in Spain, American men can sleep soundly back home knowing I will be coming home free of any Spanish boyfriends or STDs. I’m sure many male readers just breathed a great sigh of relief, no need to continue worrying! My first couple months here I went on quite a few dates--only because I saw it as a great opportunity to 1) practice my Spanish 2) interact with the locals while learning about the city and its surroundings 3) lets be more honest, its a free meal at a nicer restaurant than I would normally go to. However, after I quickly noticed the pattern of all my dates I had to put an end to Spanish dating. What can I say; Spanish men are just not my things. Not only were all the men only interested in one thing but also none of them even cared to be the least bit discrete about their intentions. And no, there intentions were NOT to help me improve my Spanish. I recently went on a date, only because the guy was the exception to the rule tall, dark and handsom
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Ngoc and I have both had very back luck with men abroad. In other words, with the men we have met, celibacy seems like a better option than dating. Guess I'll just have to pick my gym routine up a little. After having discussed the issue with a broad spectrum of Spaniards ranging from highschol drop outs to people with professional degrees, men and women, factory workers to lawyers and prudes and to those holding a more liberal mindset towards sex we have come to the conclusion that there are 2 type of people in Spain
1) those who are in a relationship
2) Those who DON'T want to be in a relationship
Yes, that's right, we single handling simplified a country of over 45 million people into 2 very simple categories. It didn't take a lot of work nor thinking to classify the millions of people over here. Now you might ask yourself, what about those people who want to be in a relationship but can't find anyone? Now this is a question only a rookie would ask, someone who hasn't lived in Spain, because those people simply don't exists. You can't walk down the street, go to the mall, park, library, grocery store, disco, a party, or ANYWHERE and not see absorb amounts of PDA. These people who feel the need to display their love and affection for their partner 24/7 in any given place fall under type 1 (those who are in a relationship). While they are quite annoying they are nothing compared to the scumbags who we classify as type 2. You know you've met a type 2 person when you are on your FIRST date the guy says "I'm not looking for a relationship." Meanwhile, you are still trying to remember his name and wondering who on earth says this on a first date? Don't be fooled by this line, which all Spanish men say, because this does NOT mean they are not interested in sleeping with you, quite the contrary actually. What "I´m not looking for a relationship" really means is "I want to sleep with you couple times a week, but I don't want to be tied down, sacrifice anything for you, and quite frankly you're not worth giving up the opportunity to sleep with another willing girl..." What a line, really! It should be the number #1 pick-up line of all time "Hey honey, you're looking good, I don't like you enough to commit to anything but you wana sleep with me?" Only the smoothest of smooth talkers could've come up with that good. It has to have a 100% success rate, what girl doesn't wana sleep with a guy after hearing "I don't want a relationship" why not just say "well, you're available tonight and I want to get laid so you willing to put out or what?" This is what they are really thinking.
In conclusion, I will be staying far, far away from Spanish men for my remaining four months abroad. If you're ever in Spain, talking to a Spanish man and he slyly drops the line "I'm not looking for a relationship" you now know what he is really asking...
Besos
Ally