Great Expectations turned into Growing Pains

Before I came to Spain I was both excited yet nervous about how this experience would turn out. To be 100% honest it hasn’t been anything like I anticipated. I thought this year would be a nice, easy year off, full of fun and free of problems or stress. Not to say I’m not enjoying my time abroad but settling down in Huelva has not been without its fair share of obstacles and/or challenges. Now that I have been here a couple months and past the excitement of finally being in Spain I’m just now realizing how hard living in a foreign country with different customs and traditions can be. Moreover, as the holiday season shifts into full swing with Thanksgiving on Thursday it’s hard not to reminisce about the holiday season in the States and miss family and friends back home.

While studying abroad in Granada during undergrad I fell in love with everything Spanish, but looking back on that experience, it was a fairytale summer, which can never be repeated. Ngoc and I met in Spain that summer and shared some of the craziest adventures and spontaneous travel trips together that I have ever had. We enjoyed 10 weeks of paradise where nothing went wrong and I didn’t think life could get any better. Unfortunately, Huelva is in no way shape or form close to Granada and not even in the same category as a comparison. I’ve come to the sad realization that this year will not be a replica of my first time in Spain. Rather than sulk and throw a pity party, invitation 1, I’ve decided to embrace the challenges ahead of me and look forward to a year full of self-growth, exploration and independence.

I think the biggest disappointment has been the fact that not one single thing has turned out to be like what I dreamed of. For starters, work is anything but easy. While I only work a limited amount of hours I can assure you this job has tested every ounce of patients in my body. It's the hardest job I’ve ever had, but then again I’ve never worked a day in my life until Spain, so I guess there isn't a lot of room for comparsion. I really hope this isn't what people mean when they say, “welcome to the real world,” because work is hard. You cannot even begin to imagine how I feel every time I’m teaching a class full of rowdy; obnoxious, and quite frankly, down right rude and disrespectful teenage boys. To say my classroom is total chaos would pay to much respect towards the lack of order that fails to exist in my classes. While trying to teach very difficult English grammar to uninterested students and having spitballs pelted at me from sixteen-year boys, I often think, “What am I doing here?” I thought this was going to be the best year of my life and so far nothing great has happened. Secondly, meeting people that want to be your friend and nothing else has proven to almost be impossible. After two months, I would say I have a handful of Spanish friends who are genuinely nice and educated people that I like to spend my free time with. Meeting the locals, those who I would actually like to get to know, have also been harder than expected. Hopefully as I continue to meet more people I will start to enjoy my time here a little more. Thirdly, the world famous nightlife in Spain, partying until 8 am, has also been a huge disappointment. Due to the fact that we live in a tiny city, with no exaggeration whatsoever, the exact same people go out every single Thursday, Friday and Saturday. I’ve come to hate going out because it didn’t take me long to realize that the only people who go out are the sleazy, dirty, drunken men lacking degrees. Not attractive. Fourthly, there are times that are downright boring. I guess being American forces one into the mindset of placing productivity as the paramount concern in your life. On the contrary, in Spain, relaxation is valued, appreciated and practiced with abundance. The “no pasa nada” mindset far outweighs the mindset of getting things done and having a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. I'm trying my hardest to appreciate this as a year of rest and relaxation and realizing that some time without constant stress or rush is not such a bad thing.
Lastly, I live on a stipend of only 700 Euros a month, not exactly rolling in the dough or living in a nice house on Mercer Island with Mom and Dad. It’s the first time in my life where money has been a concern and the word budget has crossed my mind. It’s to the point where I pick fruit off of trees on the street because I’m interested in saving (a new vocabulary word I learned this year). I can no longer swipe my debit/credit card and know the bill will be paid. I guess financial independence is a lesson I never really looked forward to learning. It will be the one lesson I don’t appreciate learning either ☺

However, rather than dwell over all the disappointments I’ trying my hardest to get involved with community events/ activities and find new things to do and fill my time. On Friday we went to the gran teatre in Huelva to watch one of the movies in the film festival. The teatre was beautiful, and to be honest, I was surprised something so pretty existed in Huelva.

This past weekend we went t the beach and enjoyed a gorgeous sunset along the Costal Del Sol. I’m going to try and my hardest to enjoy the positives of Huelva and forget the negatives. I guess it's a lesson learned, you never know what the future holds so don’t count your chickens before they hatch. I had Spain so built up in my head as the most wonderful place and couldn’t possibly imagine this year being anything but wonderful. Now I know I can’t repeat the same experience twice, I have to try my hardest to find the good in Huelva and be grateful for this experience. After all, not everyone has the opportunity to be thrown outside of their comfort zone and forced to deal with the problems presented for them. I have already learned a lot about myself and become a domestic diva (cooking, cleaning, washing the dishes/clothes, you name it I can do it) it only took me 22 years to learn but hey, better late than never. I’m no longer wearing my rose tinted glasses in Spain and ready to embrace this experience as a year full of growth and have accepted that some painful times will accompany the good times.

To end on a positive note, I guess the expression holds true, “You never know what you have until its gone.” Being away from home has made me appreciate all the comforts of the United States and how blessed I am to have grown up in an affluent neighborhood where beauty surrounds me. Now that I’m paying my way, living in an apartment smaller than my bedroom I’ve come to realize I took my life back home for granted and the rest of the world doesn’t live like I do. I’m glad I have this opportunity to experience a different way of life and trying to adapt the mindset of a relaxed Spaniard rather than hurried American. I’m switching my thoughts from those of having bad luck to thoughts of being blessed with a year full of siestas, relaxation and sangrias along the beach. You can look forward to reading blogs about our new efforts and mindsets.

Besos
Allison